Monday, November 8, 2010

My own worst enemy

Everyone is their own worst enemy. Their own worst critic. I definitely am. I have a few things in life (aside from my kids and husband) that i really love. One of them being photography. By no means right now am I any where near a professional level. All I know is what i've done in research to learn. No real formal training and right now if I wanted to, I couldn't afford it. It has just always been something that I've enjoyed.

Now I want to take it somewhere. Do something with what I love and I feel like I'm going to fail. Fall flat on my ass. I know I can take decent photos but decent doesn't get you anywhere. I'm afraid to take pictures of other peoples kids/families because like I've already said, I'm my own worst critic. I could see the bad in all of them and want to scrap it. It's just my fears.

It's holding me back. I do want to find some local workshops or an online school that is affordable just for photography. To get a better understanding of it all. I get it, but what would hurt on learning more? It wouldn't hurt at all, it would be to my advantage. I want to do this, I want to succeed. I don't need to be huge, I just want a small side business. Doing something I know I love.

Just to get over the fears and constant self criticism. It'll never happen, I know that but at least how to kick them back some so I could be somewhat successful. I can do it, I have faith. I just have to I guess find a way to dig deep down inside myself and pull out the confidence. It's in there, somewhere. Hidden, probably behind the liver or something.

I will probably have Jason help me with the editing process so I don't go overboard. He can give me the eye of "okay, you've done just enough, no more!" rather then "I can fix this, or that, oh and this!" that I would be telling myself.

Oh confidence where oh where are you? Come out and play-ay. Oh Confidence, come out and play-ay. I really need to get that out of my head now. Back to what i was talking about. I know I could become something really good, especially in birth photography. I just have to muster the damn guts to 1. get over any and all shyness so i can 1a. meet people, 2a. direct people and 2. be successful. Without that, I can't get anywhere and kick my own worst enemy in the ass.


  1. Check out your local comm college M, you should be able to take a class or two there and they should be affordable!!

  2. I do believe NMC does have photog too!!
    I am also my own worst critic, but like my husband says, If its yours you will find something wrong in everything. And you'll have to take yourself out of it and just make your custemer happy. (which is a lot easier haha!)

  3. I understand how you're feeling. There's some things I'm really wanting to get into right now but with our finances there's really nothing I can do - it's frustrating. I am also a horrible self-critic!