Everyone is their own worst enemy. Their own worst critic. I definitely am. I have a few things in life (aside from my kids and husband) that i really love. One of them being photography. By no means right now am I any where near a professional level. All I know is what i've done in research to learn. No real formal training and right now if I wanted to, I couldn't afford it. It has just always been something that I've enjoyed.
Now I want to take it somewhere. Do something with what I love and I feel like I'm going to fail. Fall flat on my ass. I know I can take decent photos but decent doesn't get you anywhere. I'm afraid to take pictures of other peoples kids/families because like I've already said, I'm my own worst critic. I could see the bad in all of them and want to scrap it. It's just my fears.
It's holding me back. I do want to find some local workshops or an online school that is affordable just for photography. To get a better understanding of it all. I get it, but what would hurt on learning more? It wouldn't hurt at all, it would be to my advantage. I want to do this, I want to succeed. I don't need to be huge, I just want a small side business. Doing something I know I love.
Just to get over the fears and constant self criticism. It'll never happen, I know that but at least how to kick them back some so I could be somewhat successful. I can do it, I have faith. I just have to I guess find a way to dig deep down inside myself and pull out the confidence. It's in there, somewhere. Hidden, probably behind the liver or something.
I will probably have Jason help me with the editing process so I don't go overboard. He can give me the eye of "okay, you've done just enough, no more!" rather then "I can fix this, or that, oh and this!" that I would be telling myself.
Oh confidence where oh where are you? Come out and play-ay. Oh Confidence, come out and play-ay. I really need to get that out of my head now. Back to what i was talking about. I know I could become something really good, especially in birth photography. I just have to muster the damn guts to 1. get over any and all shyness so i can 1a. meet people, 2a. direct people and 2. be successful. Without that, I can't get anywhere and kick my own worst enemy in the ass.