I made it! The last day of June.

I am quite proud of myself honestly. I set a goal for myself and I achieved it. I wanted to write in here at least once a day for the whole month of June and I did it. Today is June 30th and this is my 30th post! This month hasn't been easy to do either. Considering our Dell crashed in late May and then we had the old Compaq set up and that took a dive on us. So that left us with no computer. In turn I had already started my blogging challenge and was determined to keep writing. So, what did I end up doing? I used my Evo. Even though it was hard to do, the posts were very short I managed. I did it.

So I am proud of myself. I also managed to almost complete my photo challenge (I need to do todays and get them posted) but this was the big one. I believe I have finally created a good habit as well. I am not to the point where I need to make sure something is written in here, even if its just a photo with a caption or two to three sentences. It's something.

I would go weeks on end without updating here and I don't really know why. I know hardly anyone reads this (if any) that I don't link back to. But it's come down to it that I felt the need to do it for myself. Silly? Probably, but I'm happy with the outcome.

Tomorrow is July 1st. JULY! I can't believe that July is here. Tomorrow I will also have a 10 month old. The year is flying by. My boys are growing into wonderful little gentlemen and amaze me every day with something new.

So, here for my 30th post on the 30th day of June, I will just say this. I'll write tomorrow so "see" you then :)

Wordless Wednesday: Fluff Butt

Oh how I heart cloth diapering!

We started cloth diapering when we were preparing to have Dane. I set up a decent sized stash and then for some reason after a couple of months we just kinda quit. I don't honestly know why. Anyways, we were fine financially and it just didn't bother us. Then, things took a turn for the worse. Dane became sick and we spent a week 2 1/2 hours away from home in a hospital. He had a deep abscess on his neck. During this time things went south at my husbands employer but I honestly am not going to get into that. We did nothing wrong, he did nothing wrong. We had a sick child and were far away from home. Not to get upset about it, it put us in a very difficult spot and since then we have not been the same. Oh this was back in Dec of 09. We have struggled since then but have learned a lot about ourselves.

Then we found out we were pregnant with Bishop. This honestly came at such a hard time. I couldn't have wanted him more though. Despite what we were going through, this baby to us was meant to be and here he is. This proposed a very difficult situation to us. My husband was working but it wasn't guaranteed. By the time Bishop was born, things were fizzling out, the guy who I have a tendency to call the douche really started to flake. We didn't want to be associated with him, we wanted to separate ourselves from him and just move on. My husband got a new job, he loves his job and while we are still struggling to pick up the pieces that fell off the truck this past year and a half, we're doing it.

Then in January we decided to go back to cloth diapering. We have two kids in diapers and the cost was becoming insane to buy different sizes pretty much every single week. I brought it back up and he wasn't sold at first but said fine. So I ordered a bunch of new ones and we were set. We had the ones from Dane but quickly realized I didn't have many size assortments. Our whole stash now minus like 8 diapers (that I just replaced) are OS, one size. They will fit both boys. That is what I need! As addicting as cloth diapering is, I can't go all crazy on spending like I would love to. We're doing it to save money, be practical.

Soo this brings me to my reason of posting this! Today I got my 1st two new diapers :D Yes, the giddy in me is coming out. I am expecting 10 total, 8 from another shipment but that won't arrive till next week. I heart heart heart fluffy mail. My husband thinks I'm crazy but what does he know? I am trying GoGreen Pocket Diapers for the first time. I ordered the Fuzzy Green Stars and Moo Champ. I admit, I just wanted a cow print diaper haha. I love prints but because of cost most of the time, I don't buy them. Solids are what fill 99% of our stash. Seriously.

The next batch that I am waiting for and what most of our stash is consisted of are KaWaii pocket diapers. I really enjoy pockets mainly because I can control the absorbency and they simple enough for my husband, mom or anyone else can use on the boys.

So yay, I can't wait for the rest. Then we are set. For awhile anyways ;)

Moo Champ & Fuzzy Green Stars

Heavy Heart

It's hard to be happy right now. A mom on a parenting forum I belong to lost her daughter yesterday. She passed away from a severe head injury from a simple every day fall that all babies do. She was the same age as Bishop. It's hard to grasp. I never personally knew her or her mom but I have "known" them for 3 years now seeing as Dane is the same age as her twin daughters as well. I know most people find the online friendships silly so think what you want, the loss of a child of any age can hit anyone hard. This one hit me hard.

Seeing my baby reminds me of her. Seeing him do the same things she was probably doing. It makes me sad that her mama is grieving when she should be enjoying her. It's not fair, not fair at all. I'm not religious but it makes me question so many things. How can this happen to such an innocent little life? A life, a baby, a sweet precious baby who had so many years to live. How could this happen? I know it's the real world and life isn't fair. Before becoming a parent my feelings weren't so there. They were aware but knowing the fears that a mother experiences daily, knowing that this was such a freak accident, it doesn't make it any better. Its just hard to grasp. As a parent you worry about so many things but these learning to stand falls are so common. Yes they fall and bump their heads, but they come out okay. Not this time. She should be here. It just isn't fair.

Her mom is holding it up so well, well, to us anyways. I can't imagine the pain and sorrow she is experiencing. My heart will forever be with her, my thoughts will never forget that sweet sweet baby. Life, it's so precious. We often take it for granted. In light of the past couple of months my eyes have been opened up to realizing that we shouldn't take the small stuff for granted. Our babies are so precious no matter their age. They're our babies.

Forever our babies.

Hold them close

Your children, babies, hold them close and don't let go. I really have no words right now. My heart is just breaking for a family and their little Elli..

They're amazing little people

Today as I was switching out laundry I had Dane in there with me. He's become my little "mama I wanna help!" guy. As he was helping me sort and put towels into the washer after we pulled out the diapers he was talking to me. I mean, not toddler jibberish but actual talking. He has this sweet little voice and  once I stopped paying attention to the laundry and listened to him he was actually carrying on a conversation. He was telling me about his toy car that he had with him. The wheels and the color. How it goes fast. It then dawned on me how well his sentences were and how fast his vocabulary just seemed to sneak up on me. I listened to him and agreed his car could go fast and fast as well as it had lots of wheels. He then wanted to see the washer fill up and as he said "mama, i see, i see!" 

I have always known his vocab jumped big time once we finally broke him of his bink. But I guess I never realized how big it had grown. Looking back I tried to remember how Gage's vocab was at 2 and a half. Now, I know not all children are the same and boy do my kids live to that standard. They are definitely their own people but I was looking for the common in all children of the age group, the basic level. I have a video of Gage around the same age and he was chatting to himself. Looking at it I can't remember him having this big of sentence structure or maybe it's just the video. Gage spoke wonderfully at this age. Maybe it's because I was just taken back on how well Dane has grown in less then a year? Or how he's just really catching on to things around him.

I cut his hair today and realized as well he often refers to himself in the 3rd person. I find it quite adorable. Don't take any of this as I don't pay attention to what my  kids say, I do. It just seemed to be one of those days where I went back and said "Whoa! There is a lot more then I initially thought!" Children are amazing creatures like that. Anyways, back to the hair cut story. As I was prepping his hair, getting it combed so we didn't have snags he kept insisting he sit. Or as he said "Mama, Dane sit. No standing, it hurts." I convinced him to stand though as it made it much easier to get his hair cut properly. Sneaky mama I am. He just wanted to sit and be tricky. He comes by it honestly haha. As I was cutting the hair off he became very concerned. He saw the hair fall and repeated "Dane's hair! Look mama, Dane's hair!" and I thought the cutest one was when it landed on his tush and he told me. "Hair is on Dane's butt mama! Get it off!"  He then went into his silly racing mode where he goes from the entry way to the kitchen, back and forth, back and forth.

He's growing up. We are nearing 3. I was looking at him and remembering when he was Bishop's age. How did we get to almost 3 already?! Then on top of that, I was having more thoughts about how I am going to have a Kindergartner this fall. Time seriously does fly by. Gage was Dane's age when I was pregnant with Dane. How can he already be 5 and going to school this fall? How can we be there already? How can Bishop already be testing the boundaries of standing and trying to crawl by using all four's instead of using his hands and knees. How are they growing up so fast? I don't know but they're doing it. They're amazing little people. They bring the biggest smiles to my face every day, even when they're such goobers. Believe me, they can be big goobers. They are my goobers though. They are my bug loving, booger eating, fart joking, sweet, snuggling baby boys. All 3 of them. They'll forever be my baby boys.

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

Robert Munsch's "Love you Forever" our favorite book.

A Beautiful Sky

The only time today the sun came out, just as it started to set.