This fall I will have an official kindergartner. Totally not ready for this in the slightest, its still crazy to me that he's even old enough to be ready to go. I feel like yesterday Gage was just 2. Time has flown by way to fast and I am not liking it a single bit.
The Kindergarten Experience is something that the district we live in does. Possibly others do but this is the first time I am hearing of it. For two days they have the kids come to school to get acquainted and learn about it all. Unlike when he starts school officially this is just a half day. He will be going to all day Kindergarten. So, Tuesday June 7th and 8th, I will be walking him down to the front of our neighborhood and getting him on a bus. A bus! He is scheduled to go in the PM so that works, I can get him breakfast and ready. If it were in the AM I know I would have felt far too rushed. I need a few more months before that starts haha.
Pictures will be a definite. A bus, I can't believe it. The last 5 years have flown by. Never in these 5 years have I imagined we'd be here already. I'm not quite sure what I will do with only two at home during the day but I know that school will be a great thing for Gage. I believe Mr. Social will do just fine.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Challenge, Day One: Bishop's 9 Months!
So here we are today is June 1st. It means its the start of my challenges and also something else special. Today, Bishop is 9 months old. It's crazy that 9 months have already passed. He's growing so much and is such a little porker. We hit our 9 month nursing milestone as well. That journey has been a long hard one honestly. We have overcome the upsets and are moving forward. I love the snuggles and big smiles.
He still refuses to crawl, but he's getting there. Well, I shouldn't say refuses but he definitely has been stubborn about it. Hates tummy time and will do whatever he can to get off it. Screaming and crying is his biggest winner. We've been working with him more to figure out how to get on all 4's, today was actually pretty successful. He even pulled up to standing position using Jason who was laying on the floor with him! That's a big step for him.
He is a piggy. Loves to eat big people food, devoured some cheese chunks the other day and loved banana slices. Noodles are also a favorite.
His big brothers can make him laugh all the time. His smiles are all through his face.
Teeth, he's getting them! His first tooth was his 2nd right incisor. Totally not where you'd expect to get the 1st tooth haha. His 2nd and 3rd teeth were his bottoms and now his 4th is cutting through. It's his left front tooth! So he's going to have a funky looking smile for a few. He's an amazing chunkamunk.
So here is my first post. Hate that it was so late but it took me a few to get the photos I wanted onto this laptop. It's old, it's slow but it works so I won't really complain. Tomorrow I will work hard to get my post up much sooner in the day. So for day one, I don't think it was that bad. Hopefully this creates a really good habit.
He is a piggy. Loves to eat big people food, devoured some cheese chunks the other day and loved banana slices. Noodles are also a favorite.
His big brothers can make him laugh all the time. His smiles are all through his face.
Teeth, he's getting them! His first tooth was his 2nd right incisor. Totally not where you'd expect to get the 1st tooth haha. His 2nd and 3rd teeth were his bottoms and now his 4th is cutting through. It's his left front tooth! So he's going to have a funky looking smile for a few. He's an amazing chunkamunk.
So here is my first post. Hate that it was so late but it took me a few to get the photos I wanted onto this laptop. It's old, it's slow but it works so I won't really complain. Tomorrow I will work hard to get my post up much sooner in the day. So for day one, I don't think it was that bad. Hopefully this creates a really good habit.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
The Killer of Computers
Yup, that's me. Or honestly it feels like it. A couple months ago I killed my poor poor Mac. Total accident but definitely my fault. Then last night while just innocently using our Dell laptop the screen went blank. I figured shut it down for a few and try turning it on about an hour later. Tried, didn't happen. Gave it another out, same outcome. Crap.
So yeah 2 dead laptops however the Dell was NOT my fault! I was using it and Jason even said it's happened to him before. But after it happened to him it would turn on again.
We cannot afford for this to happen to us. We have an old compaq that works when it wants to so it's not a reliable computer. If the Dell is fried we are screwed. We're going to have to see what we can do to get a new computer. Jason was planning on taking online classes and I wanted to look into doing medical billing classes. Can't do those on a computer that might not work that day.
Not quite sure what we're going to do if it's fried. We need a reliable computer.
I feel like when I introduce myself to people now I need to change it up. "Hi, I'm Marisa! Killer of computers.."
So yeah 2 dead laptops however the Dell was NOT my fault! I was using it and Jason even said it's happened to him before. But after it happened to him it would turn on again.
We cannot afford for this to happen to us. We have an old compaq that works when it wants to so it's not a reliable computer. If the Dell is fried we are screwed. We're going to have to see what we can do to get a new computer. Jason was planning on taking online classes and I wanted to look into doing medical billing classes. Can't do those on a computer that might not work that day.
Not quite sure what we're going to do if it's fried. We need a reliable computer.
I feel like when I introduce myself to people now I need to change it up. "Hi, I'm Marisa! Killer of computers.."
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
I think I can..
I have set a goal for myself and darn it, I'm going to do it. Well, technically 2 goals. I'm going to give myself two challenges to complete during the month of June. I am going to work hard on making sure that I meet each challenge fully and make sure they are marked down.
My first Challenge/goal is to post in my blog once a day, every day for the whole month of June. Hopefully this will create a good habit to continue instead of posting 4 times a month. What fun is that? I have more to say but never really do. So I am challenging myself after seeing a friend do it. She was successful so I hope that I am as well.
My 2nd Challenge/Goal is to take one non-auto photograph every single day for the month of June and post it to my photography blog. I haven't used my camera much as of late and I need to do this. I need to get back into it.
So I hope you'll join me in my journey and keep me on track if you think I'm falling off.
My first Challenge/goal is to post in my blog once a day, every day for the whole month of June. Hopefully this will create a good habit to continue instead of posting 4 times a month. What fun is that? I have more to say but never really do. So I am challenging myself after seeing a friend do it. She was successful so I hope that I am as well.
My 2nd Challenge/Goal is to take one non-auto photograph every single day for the month of June and post it to my photography blog. I haven't used my camera much as of late and I need to do this. I need to get back into it.
So I hope you'll join me in my journey and keep me on track if you think I'm falling off.
Friday, May 6, 2011
An update to the D-Man
I waited until Jason got up for the day to discuss what would be done. He watched him and agreed that it wasn't right. He wasn't putting any weight on it at all. He would get around by sliding around on the floor or doing this crab like crawl. Definitely favored that leg. My mom brought Gage home from spending the night and we asked what she thought. We all agreed to take him to the ER. It just didn't feel or seem right. We don't know how he hurt himself but not standing or putting any weight on it wasn't right. Especially with it coming on so fast.
So, we devised the plan on who was going where and with who. Since Jason works tonight we had to make sure just in case (our ER is notorious for leaving you there hours on end) that he had a car to get to work with. So he dropped my step-dad off at home, kept their truck with Gage's car seat in it. My mom and I then took off to the ER with Bishop and Dane. I went armed this time with diapers, coloring stuff and toys.
Surprisingly it didn't take forever to get back into the room. Met with the Dr and the nurse, they told us what they were going to do first. Another set of x-rays but this time unlike urgent care they were going to do from foot to hip. We went back for those, they came back clear. The Dr still wanted to make sure there was nothing more going on, so they ordered blood tests and an ultrasound on his hip, just to make sure there was no fluid built up. They drew the blood and then we went back for his ultrasound. There was no fluid in his hip, which is good. Came back to the room, the blood tests came back clear. Great! They drew another vile for 2 more tests that would take a bit longer to get the results for. That wasn't fun.
So, with the x-rays clear, the ultrasound clear, the blood work clear (minus knowing the other two results) everything checked out fine. But we still don't know why a perfectly healthy 2 year old would just suddenly stop putting weight on one leg. So, we are to call the Orthopedic office on Monday and set up an appointment with them for a follow up. They have ruled out anything broken and checked for infections, nothing of those kinds. Its quite possible its a muscle inflammation. So they gave him a shot of and please forgive me if I get the name wrong, I believe it was Trodal? Something similar to that name. It is supposed to help with the pain and inflammation.
So this is where we stand. We have ruled out anything that could be very serious, infections, abscess or broken bones so far. We will hopefully find out more when we meet for the follow up at the Orthopedics office. It's very scary to not quite know what is going on with your child. More so when this child has gone from perfectly healthy to suddenly ill so fast before. I feel more protective over him because of what has previously happened to him. But thankfully no abscesses or anything serious that kept him hospitalized. I feel much more comfortable with the ER visit then I did the urgent care. They ran tests I wanted them to run, everything came back fine.
So hopefully we get the whole 100% okay when we see the Ortho and just find out that he has an inflamed muscle. He was feeling a bit better when we got home but he ate dinner and went to bed. Poor kidlet has had enough.
Glad I decided to go and make sure that it was nothing more serious.
So, we devised the plan on who was going where and with who. Since Jason works tonight we had to make sure just in case (our ER is notorious for leaving you there hours on end) that he had a car to get to work with. So he dropped my step-dad off at home, kept their truck with Gage's car seat in it. My mom and I then took off to the ER with Bishop and Dane. I went armed this time with diapers, coloring stuff and toys.
Surprisingly it didn't take forever to get back into the room. Met with the Dr and the nurse, they told us what they were going to do first. Another set of x-rays but this time unlike urgent care they were going to do from foot to hip. We went back for those, they came back clear. The Dr still wanted to make sure there was nothing more going on, so they ordered blood tests and an ultrasound on his hip, just to make sure there was no fluid built up. They drew the blood and then we went back for his ultrasound. There was no fluid in his hip, which is good. Came back to the room, the blood tests came back clear. Great! They drew another vile for 2 more tests that would take a bit longer to get the results for. That wasn't fun.
So, with the x-rays clear, the ultrasound clear, the blood work clear (minus knowing the other two results) everything checked out fine. But we still don't know why a perfectly healthy 2 year old would just suddenly stop putting weight on one leg. So, we are to call the Orthopedic office on Monday and set up an appointment with them for a follow up. They have ruled out anything broken and checked for infections, nothing of those kinds. Its quite possible its a muscle inflammation. So they gave him a shot of and please forgive me if I get the name wrong, I believe it was Trodal? Something similar to that name. It is supposed to help with the pain and inflammation.
So this is where we stand. We have ruled out anything that could be very serious, infections, abscess or broken bones so far. We will hopefully find out more when we meet for the follow up at the Orthopedics office. It's very scary to not quite know what is going on with your child. More so when this child has gone from perfectly healthy to suddenly ill so fast before. I feel more protective over him because of what has previously happened to him. But thankfully no abscesses or anything serious that kept him hospitalized. I feel much more comfortable with the ER visit then I did the urgent care. They ran tests I wanted them to run, everything came back fine.
So hopefully we get the whole 100% okay when we see the Ortho and just find out that he has an inflamed muscle. He was feeling a bit better when we got home but he ate dinner and went to bed. Poor kidlet has had enough.
Glad I decided to go and make sure that it was nothing more serious.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Laying it all out for everyone to see..
Lately things have been building up and for once I'm just going to lay it all out there. How it's going to be received or honestly, even read is another story. I don't want pity or anything I just need to finally do this, I am not looking for any sort of pity though. Please don't pity me.
I honestly don't know who I am anymore. It has been building for a long time and it seems to finally hit the nail on the coffin. Who am I? I know the basics, 25, married and mom of 3. Beyond that, what else do I have to offer? Nothing. I have lost my voice, my thoughts, my feelings. I've become entombed into this whole situation that I'm falling apart and I don't think anyone sees it. Or if they do they've never out right said anything.
I'm lost. I'm physically here, I go about daily life but I don't think anything ever feels accomplished. I'm 25 and feel like I have done nothing significant in my life aside from having 3 beautiful boys. I can't do much more due to restrictions with money. I am losing me and I hate this. Yes, all signs of my feelings point to depression, I'm well aware of this. I've suffered previously after having a baby and before then as a teenager. I am looking into help but nothing ever comes easy. I hate getting up in the morning. I don't want to do anything during the day. It shows, we suffer, my boys suffer. They aren't getting me 100% and that's not fair nor right. I'm here, I meet all their basic needs but I can do better. I know I can. I try but I fall flat on my face. I shouldn't have to push myself to play with my children. I can do better. I know I'm able to and I know its in there wanting to, I just have to finally see a dr about it. I can't do it on my own this time. I did after having D, but this time with how stressful my pregnancy was (not the pregnancy itself, just life) and how stress has still been around afterwards, I can't.
Bringing it up to someone to just talk about isn't going to happen. I don't want to be a debbie downer. I'm drawing myself in even more and this can't go on. This expression on my face is as empty as I feel.
In all honesty, my boys are my greatest accomplishments in life.. I'm not doing my best and I see this. I am going to change this. Today.
Aside from all that I just want to feel like I can do something else. In my last post I wanted to start a hobby. Possibly become good at it and I have yet to do so. I've started it but become so easily frustrated with it that I have to back away. It's so annoying to me. I just wish I had that personality that could do something publicly. Where I could be successful on my own. I don't. I'm too shy, even on here. I'm actually shocked I have the guts to write this but we'll see if I hit publish. Knowing me I'll start writing and then just stop or finish it and let it sit in a draft for who knows how long. I'm jealous of those who can do what I want. I'm happy for them but yes, I am jealous. My shyness holds me back so much. Which I think also plays into depression.
I'm also dealing with bad Anxiety. I've never really dealt with it before but this is getting me down big time. I'm so anxious about phone calls, who's calling me. I'm anxious about the mail, I dread getting it because it's going to be something bad. I know these can be normal but its so heightened I would rather ignore the mail then get it. But then it makes me anxious that I am not dealing with what is possibly in there.
Constant fear that something is going to go wrong, that I'm going to lose one of my boys. I hate the car, absolutely hate it now. I've always been a bit nervous when in the car because I have no control over other drivers but this is getting bad. I am afraid I'm going to die every. single. time. I get into a car. It shouldn't be like that. Not able to fall asleep at night because my brain won't shut off, my mind constantly racing. I can't keep going on like this. We are all suffering because of this.
I'm not happy, I'm lost. I'm feeling like a failure in so many ways. I just had to get this out there.. With hitting publish post it will be for whoever reads it to see. I'm going to make my call when I hit publish, I'm going to finally be able to get the help I've been trying to for the past few months. Hopefully it'll come sooner but I'm trying.
If you read this all, thank you. Please don't judge me or look down on me. I am only human.
I honestly don't know who I am anymore. It has been building for a long time and it seems to finally hit the nail on the coffin. Who am I? I know the basics, 25, married and mom of 3. Beyond that, what else do I have to offer? Nothing. I have lost my voice, my thoughts, my feelings. I've become entombed into this whole situation that I'm falling apart and I don't think anyone sees it. Or if they do they've never out right said anything.
I'm lost. I'm physically here, I go about daily life but I don't think anything ever feels accomplished. I'm 25 and feel like I have done nothing significant in my life aside from having 3 beautiful boys. I can't do much more due to restrictions with money. I am losing me and I hate this. Yes, all signs of my feelings point to depression, I'm well aware of this. I've suffered previously after having a baby and before then as a teenager. I am looking into help but nothing ever comes easy. I hate getting up in the morning. I don't want to do anything during the day. It shows, we suffer, my boys suffer. They aren't getting me 100% and that's not fair nor right. I'm here, I meet all their basic needs but I can do better. I know I can. I try but I fall flat on my face. I shouldn't have to push myself to play with my children. I can do better. I know I'm able to and I know its in there wanting to, I just have to finally see a dr about it. I can't do it on my own this time. I did after having D, but this time with how stressful my pregnancy was (not the pregnancy itself, just life) and how stress has still been around afterwards, I can't.
Bringing it up to someone to just talk about isn't going to happen. I don't want to be a debbie downer. I'm drawing myself in even more and this can't go on. This expression on my face is as empty as I feel.
In all honesty, my boys are my greatest accomplishments in life.. I'm not doing my best and I see this. I am going to change this. Today.
Aside from all that I just want to feel like I can do something else. In my last post I wanted to start a hobby. Possibly become good at it and I have yet to do so. I've started it but become so easily frustrated with it that I have to back away. It's so annoying to me. I just wish I had that personality that could do something publicly. Where I could be successful on my own. I don't. I'm too shy, even on here. I'm actually shocked I have the guts to write this but we'll see if I hit publish. Knowing me I'll start writing and then just stop or finish it and let it sit in a draft for who knows how long. I'm jealous of those who can do what I want. I'm happy for them but yes, I am jealous. My shyness holds me back so much. Which I think also plays into depression.
I'm also dealing with bad Anxiety. I've never really dealt with it before but this is getting me down big time. I'm so anxious about phone calls, who's calling me. I'm anxious about the mail, I dread getting it because it's going to be something bad. I know these can be normal but its so heightened I would rather ignore the mail then get it. But then it makes me anxious that I am not dealing with what is possibly in there.
Constant fear that something is going to go wrong, that I'm going to lose one of my boys. I hate the car, absolutely hate it now. I've always been a bit nervous when in the car because I have no control over other drivers but this is getting bad. I am afraid I'm going to die every. single. time. I get into a car. It shouldn't be like that. Not able to fall asleep at night because my brain won't shut off, my mind constantly racing. I can't keep going on like this. We are all suffering because of this.
I'm not happy, I'm lost. I'm feeling like a failure in so many ways. I just had to get this out there.. With hitting publish post it will be for whoever reads it to see. I'm going to make my call when I hit publish, I'm going to finally be able to get the help I've been trying to for the past few months. Hopefully it'll come sooner but I'm trying.
If you read this all, thank you. Please don't judge me or look down on me. I am only human.
Friday, April 22, 2011
I need an official hobby
I am tired of having many things I like but nothing as an official hobby. So I've decided to learn how to crochet again. Jason taught me years ago but I never really stuck with it. Kids got in the way at the time and I just lost track. But I really want to do more with it. Since we cloth diapers I want to make pants for the boys and such, hell even if we didn't I'd still want to! I just want to have something to show for something I have been interested in. So I've been reading up tonight, relearning. Having some nice time tonight by myself. Slightly bored but I get fidgety at night by myself, mainly because my mind can race and it sucks. He's at work so that makes it harder.
I love sewing but since we moved in I haven't had a set place to be able to set everything up. We finally do even though it's not an ideal area it'll definitely do. I can set both my sewing machine and serger up and still have the space to cut fabric. I will be making my own cloth wipes and then possibly figuring out how to make my own wetbag. I just want to price out the cost of PUL. I have been itching to become more self efficient for us in certain areas and I've decided to say eff it, here I go. So here I go!
I just feel like I need to do this, I want to most definitely but I need to. Odd, I know. However let's hope I can come out with some good crocheted items haha.
I love sewing but since we moved in I haven't had a set place to be able to set everything up. We finally do even though it's not an ideal area it'll definitely do. I can set both my sewing machine and serger up and still have the space to cut fabric. I will be making my own cloth wipes and then possibly figuring out how to make my own wetbag. I just want to price out the cost of PUL. I have been itching to become more self efficient for us in certain areas and I've decided to say eff it, here I go. So here I go!
I just feel like I need to do this, I want to most definitely but I need to. Odd, I know. However let's hope I can come out with some good crocheted items haha.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
