Wednesday, March 3, 2010

It's harder than I thought it would be

I think I always knew that moving would be hard on me. I don't think I understood how it would fully affect me. Two nights ago after going to the other house to take advantage of some free time to get some finishing stuff done, it hit me. On the way home I just broke down crying. Now, you're probably looking at your screen with a "why" look on your face.. well, here's why.

My youngest, D, was born at home. This home. The home we're moving out of. I knew that the move would be hard on because this is the place that he started his life. He entered the world in our living room. I always joked and told my husband Jason, that we'd be cutting out the floor where he was born. I know it seems silly but I have a huge attachment to this house. It's like they say, Homemade and Home born. He was. I know its easy to leave a hospital with your newborn because you're excited to get home and start your new life with them.

With D, we were already at home. His life started at home. Our choice to move is a good one, it will give us more room for our growing family and it will be a house of our own. Not a house of ours that someone else owns. It's a step in Jason and I's lives we're ready to take. I just, I guess, I didn't think it would be this hard.

Today is the last day we will be with that house. March 3rd.. it's it. I know it's just a house and we'll have memories in our new house. But this holds so much more meaning to me. Its hard to think that I'm going to have to let it go. I have photos of his birth, I have the memories and the joys from his first year of life in that house. I know in time it will get better and I will move on. That house will always hold such big memories for me and us all together.

I feel silly for being sad to leave. I really do. However, I will be okay. I mean, I have the best thing that came out of that whole experience, D!

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