It's been awhile

Hi, if you're hear reading this anyways.

It has been awhile since I posted in here, mainly because we have a lot going on that I don't want to openly discuss yet. Soon enough I will, I am sure.

Life has been hectic, busy honestly. Very busy. A lot of  changes are coming our families way and we are excited for them. They will hopefully (we believe anyways) bring what we need, a better and new future.

The boys are wonderful. All 3 are growing daily and they need to slow down a bit!

G is doing wonderful in Kinder and his soccer season ends on Thursday. He has taken quite wonderfully to the sport. Scoring many times during each game. I'm sad to see the season end but we will definitely be doing it again next year and possibly looking into t-ball this spring! He's doing well with sight words and learning to put them together. We are working on reading now as well. His writing is improving much more also.

D is devilish. I mean this child is seriously the rambunctious one of our 3 and he definitely lives up to the nick name trouble. So much energy! However in his escapades he's so sweet, caring and definitely funny. He has his moments with B but you can tell he loves him. He fights with G, but honestly I would probably be worried if we didn't have spats here and there. He is definitely his own and can go from moving so fast to wanting to snuggle. His speech is getting so much better and we are working on counting. So far 3 is as far as he gets and that's perfectly fine!

B is growing so quickly, not sure how I feel about that! It's so neat to see him change into his own little person instead of that whole baby blob thing you get. He is also trying to keep up with the older boys as far as playing and getting their attention. They don't ignore him, they love to help him. He's so goofy as well. When he gets into a mood, its so funny to watch. He goes bouncing off the walls toddler crazy! He is getting over a horrible sinus infection and getting all 4 1st year molars as well, he has just been so pleasant. I love him no less though!

That is our life currently. All 3 boys are great, we are working hard on making changes in our lives. I don't plan on ignoring my blog much longer, promise.

Land-o-Laundry

One thing I hate is laundry. I have never been a fan of this. Okay, no I should say I am not a fan of the whole folding and putting away. Too bothersome in my opinion, washing, drying - fine by me. Folding and putting away? Can go do it itself. However when you have a family of 5, you accumulate a lot of laundry. It's quite sickening honestly. Season by season a new set of sick rolls its way into my hampers and call out to be washed. I tell it to screw off but they don't listen. They gather their laundry army and double by the next day. I can't win.

Or so I thought! I won the Great Laundry Battle as I have sadly dubbed it. 3 kids, there is a lot to clean, 1 husband who has more clothes then me, there is a lot to clean. My slacking honestly wasn't good. I probably did 15 good loads in the last week in a half to catch up. We have already had 1 major folding session and tonight will be our next and last. It's that crazy! But, since i have finally caught up I am going to do my best to stay on top of it. I can't say we'll get behind a bit or not but i'll do my best to avoid what i just did. On top of all that, every 3-4 days I am washing diapers.

So you probably find this boring (if you're actually reading this at all..) but i'm proud of me! To finally be caught up and done with the whole big she-bang. It's a nice accomplishment. So HA, laundry I beat YOU. Take that :p

Mama's done

I am just done. Really, done. The hormones this time around are vicious. I woke up happy go lucky and not even an hour later I'm ready for the day to be over and I do not want to talk to a single person. Yup, all that change in an hour. Great isn't? The boys are eating breakfast and I love them dearly but you really don't need to repeat what you want 5 times. I heard you the first time, I'm making it the way you requested.. give me a break before I need time out.

So dear hormones, you can screw off now. No, really, I mean it. I have no use or want for you. You do nothing but create tension and anger which really isn't needed at this point in the game. I personally do not enjoy being upset over trivial and stupid things. Really, I don't. I can figure a better way to spend my day then being annoyed because someone just walked through my living room with shoes on. Well, no, that probably would annoy me not being pregnant. Need a better example.. hm, well, I can see a better way of spending my day then being annoyed over 5 things sitting on my kitchen counter that I didn't put there. See, there's one.

I feel like I have gone pregnant lady crazy. I honestly do. I'm ready for the hormones to even out but I have probably another year of that! Soon baby will be here and then that means you have the whole post partum hormones. I hope I do not deal with PPD again.

I just don't want to feel crazy anymore! Really, is that too hard to ask for body? Is it?!

The boys deserve me sane. Not crying over silly little things or angry that something isn't right. They probably think I'm some lunatic that took over their moms body.

Stress and stuff

I have definitely learned a lot about myself in these past few months. Well honestly, since last December. However it has definitely become a lot more showing to me these past two months when everything in our lives has been extremely stressing.

These past few months have really brought my strength to me in a whole new light. We have been living very tight because of the current situation. It has taught me something about myself that I never knew. I can live frugally. It was hard to adjust too but I have really learned a lot. Its been easier to go without things that I want and only buying those things that we need, but making sure we find a deal on it so we can stretch our money a bit better.

I’ve always been decent with money but I admit, I liked to get extras when they weren’t warranted. Mainly on the boys but who doesn’t love spending money on their kids? With how our money situation has been lately we’ve definitely learned if you don’t need it, you don’t buy it. We’ve taken to doing some very stealth grocery shopping and making a small amount of money last as long as we can.

Hopefully come Monday we’ll hear good news and that’ll only bring this tight budget time to a close. I won’t lose what I have learned though. I’ve already explained to Jason that when things are better again, we’ll still practice our frugalness to stretch our money as far as we can. To make sure we have a good savings and If something heaven forbid like this happens again, we’ll be better prepared. Even though all of this came at us out of nowhere and we couldn’t have predicted it, it has definitely brought wisdom to us.

The stress has been hard and I know my pregnancy emotions are a big role in my moods lately. They have not helped a slight downfall of feelings because they’re bad. I hate being probably 110% angrier then I normally would be because of the hormones.

I hate that we’re living in this situation right now, I hate that millions of others are as well. I am thankful for one thing, it has taught me a lot about myself. About who I am, what I can and cannot do. I am thankful for that. 

When life hands you lemons

You should throw it at the people pissing you off. I feel lately that life just isn't in my favor. It's hard to explain without going into all the details and honestly, I don't want to do that. My feelings have been hit pretty hard and its just something I really don't want to deal with, but unfortunately I have too. We have to. Our marriage is just fine so its nothing to do with that. Honestly, it couldn't be any better because of how trying this is, how difficult, we're in it together.

Stress isn't good for pregnant women, then again I don't feel its good for any person. Why am I being handed it left and right along with any uncertainty? I don't get it, we have done everything we have been asked to do yet it seems to be falling back on us as if it is all our faults. It's not. I am not a bad person, neither of us are. We've done stupid things in our lives but we're in a place in our minds and hearts now that, who we were isn't who we are now. We're completely different and I don't get it. I don't get why we work so hard to better our lives and it seems to be teetering on the edge at all times.

Its just hard to sit back and not be able to do anything about it. It's no longer in our hands. Our fate is resting in someone else's hands and if all goes wrong, we're honestly just.. screwed. It breaks my heart because Jason has fought so hard to get us here, he busted his ass. To ensure we were taken care of, to make sure the boys were given a bright future. I feel like we're failing them. As a parent that is probably one of the worst feelings in the world.

We're trying to keep our heads up but neither of us can really take getting knocked down again. Hopefully soon we'll have final answers and then can move forwards with our lives. I love my family dearly and just want us all to be okay, happy and healthy.

Insurance and Specialists oh my!

It feels like as of late I have only been updating on Dane. Its only because more has been going on with him then Gage. Gage is doing awesome. It's actually quite amazing to see how great he is doing. He is starting to learn reason as well, which I think is a good and bad thing haha.

However, I wanted to update on Dane and all thats been going on. We finally got the call yesterday about when he'd go see the Orthopedic Surgeon/Specialist. It's farther in advanced then I had thought it would be. We are set up for Wednesday October 13th to see him. It's at 10:30am but we have to be there 30 minutes before. It's about a 2 hour drive so we'll be up early and leaving early. Not looking forward to that, mainly because Bishop will be here by then. Granted he should be almost 2 months old but hauling 3 kids to this isn't going to be a picnic. My mom said she'd go with me, so I think we have enough advanced notice for her to take the time off.

I handed in everything for the insurance. Hopefully it'll be straightened out quickly.

The weather is beautiful here. Wednesday the boys and I went for a walk around our neighborhood. It was nice and beautiful. I think we may go again today, if my ankle isn't killing me too much. I was attacked by frozen chicken that night when I opened my freezer door. It is swollen and bruised. Still hurts today. I seem to have an issue kicking it when I'm in my sleep. Wonder if I strap my other leg down if it'll stop, ha. Right.

The husbandman has been working hard. Gage gets so excited to see him when he comes home during lunch and then for the day. It's nice to see him so excited to see daddy. Our schedule was so different before he got this job, now, its nice! He's gone during the day and home at night. He used to be home during the day and gone at night. I hated it, the boys hated it. Now you can tell when daddy comes home, mama is nobody, well, until dinner time! Then I'm needed again, haha.

Its amazing how things have turned out. From major upsets to wondering if we would be okay. To here we are, happy, building a house with two healthy boys and a wonderful surprise boy on his way. I had my ups and downs on feelings but knowing life will be okay, makes me okay. To make sure the boys have what they need is all that matters to me and they have it.

However, Gage's latest thing is to make sure you know he's bored haha!

We found out we're having a..

Boy!

Yup, we're having yet another boy! I at first thought that if this baby was a boy and not the girl I had hoped I would be disappointed. But quite to my surprise i wasn't! I was quite excited again. I mean, I already have 2 boys so I think I know what I'm doing when it comes to them, haha. 

Monkey is refusing to except that this baby is a boy. It's quite cute actually. You can tell he had his heart set on a baby sister haha, however it doesn't seem to work in our favor like that! I'm okay with it, I thought I may possibly be disappointed but already having 2 boys but I'm even more excited. I know what I'm doing, I know what to expect. I can't wait. I hope one day to have a little girl but right now I am okay with and even more excited with having 3 sons. 

D doesn't know whats going on and honestly couldn't care less haha. One day we'll get him to understand! I am thinking of buying him a doll to help him get used to being nice to a baby. I know he'll be a great big brother even though he won't be in the full understanding. Hes such a loving little boy.

Speaking of D, tomorrow I have to go pick up lab orders from his doctor and then we head over to the place that does x-rays. He needs to have x-rays done on his legs so we can get a referral for an Orthopedic surgeon downstate. D has a very badly bowed leg, only one leg though. It has started to affect how he stands, walks and runs. So I brought it up at his 15 month check up last week and his doctor said we'd get on it. X-rays first then go to see the doctor. Its 2 hours from our house so it'll be a trip there. Thankfully my mom said she'd make the trip with me if we have enough time in between when we found out when the appt is to when it actually is. So she can put in the time off. 

Life doesn't come without little surprises. I hope for nothing serious, I hope that the most that would need to be done is bracing and he can continue to be a happy go lucky 1 year old that he already is. I would hate to not have him be able to be our trouble!

Moving is coming up quite quickly. We're looking at around April 15th to be able to start moving in. I'm quite excited! We picked up tons of paint samples today in hopes to getting colors chosen soon. 

That's about it until another blog :)